Getting In the Habit: The Decision To Make Time For Me

I have a strong personality. I’m stubborn and hard working. I’m overly motivated. I feel guilty if I’m resting on my laurels. Many a time it can be a detriment. I can push myself too far, too fast and it becomes a disservice to my physical and emotional self. I sacrifice my own well being. I create a pressure that is unnecessary. Along with that pressure resides a guilt that if I do not live up to the expectations I am placing on myself then I have failed. Does it matter that the expectations are unfair to me or unrealistic for me? Nope, I just keep on trucking, perpetuating the cycle.

I’m writing this today because I want to try to create a new habit. In fact, I want to create a few. I am putting it out there for the masses because I want people to hold me accountable. I want to announce these newly-aimed-for habits so I know they are real and true and are something by which I need to abide. I want to make healthy strides forward, and I’m using all of you to help me.

I need to start being gentle with myself. I need to start giving to myself as much as I give to others. I need to be kind to me. I need to slowly inch away from harsh words and negative statements to myself. I need to birth a new practice and continue to nurture it so it grows into an everyday habit. It’s much harder than it seems. It’s the small things we tell ourselves, that add up to the sum of who we are. How important it is to give ourselves permission to be, just be. No ties, no pressures, no standards to be upheld.

I want to be able to write without thinking it must be absolutely perfect. I want to be able to read a book without feeling like I should be running an errand. I want to be able to lounge for a full day without feeling like the laziest sloth of all time. I want to accept that I do not know what my future holds at this moment and have faith it will fall into place. I want to acknowledge I have been through some of the roughest times ever and have come out the other side, in fact, am still very much in the process of getting to the other side. I want to accept how proud of myself I am for that. I want to cut myself a break. I want to start putting myself first. I want to shut down my inner critic who is loud and ornery, shouting up a storm about everything I’m not. I want to start realizing everything I am.

I want you to go on this journey with me. Tell me the things you want to make a habit in your life. Explain to me why it’s so important. Share with me what is so difficult about starting up this new practice. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to hear why this makes you who you are. Let’s all start by getting in the habit of saying what we want, what we need and then doing something about it. I’m listening, for you and for me.

Molly Franken is in the business of making movies and, most recently, the business of writing words. Ideally, she aims at combining the two. You can follow her on Twitter @MTF.

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Comments

Zakiya

There is an epic talk from Jada Pinkett Smith about this VERY THING!

She was explaining to her daughter how her unhappiness that stems from when she desnt take time for herself, affects the entire family. And how although the media portrays it as a horrible thing when women are selfish and find the time to take care of themselves, they are actually being selfish if they don’t take the time out – because they take out all heir frustrations and feelings of lack on everyone they love.

You can find the talk here, it was truly lovely.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQK9Ufr4yrY
Kimsun

It’s those “should” statements that I find hard to live up to: I should exercise more, I should spend more time with x/y/z, I should eat better, I should cook a better meal than beans on toast etc… But who the hell set those impossibly high standards for me and my life??? I did, so very long ago. And because they are well above realistic expectations, I don’t achieve them, then I get depressed that I didn’t. It’s a vicious circle. I am slowly learning to let go of ‘should’ and just live with the ‘am doing’ or ‘can only cope with at the moment’. The rest will be done when it’s done. Or not. I have a very wise friend who seizes the day every day. I envy her tranquility and am striving to seize my own day, one day at a time. It’s more miss than hit right now, but there are still some bloody great hits