Finding True Freedom Means Facing Your Fears

BY Christine Gutierrez

“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.” – Anais Nin

This quote by Anais Nin truly represents to me what freedom is. Living means suffering, error, risking, giving and losing. This is how we postpone death. To me this represents freedom. To accept that life is a full spectrum of feeling and colors and that we must dance in the chaos, to dance through the range of the emotions that we are gifted as humans. This to me is freedom.

I have felt in my personal life that freedom was graduating, or getting validation from a degree or certification, traveling, attracting a beautiful and loving partner or friend. While all of those things can bring you happiness, the dependency on them can actually rob you of your happiness. The magic of the universe is that it does indeed seem to have structure in the chaos, if you listen closely enough. To be a modern day mystic in a way, and listen with not only you physical ears but your spiritual ears. There you are able to know that true freedom is seldom a straight path. In fact, the path to freedom usually comes with curves and falls and dancing and pausing, of giving and receiving. A true dance with the cosmos and with life.

Freedom to me then represents accepting both the light and the dark and the more acceptance of how life truly works: the death of someone you love; being betrayed by a family member, friend or romantic partner; losing your job; not knowing your life’s purpose. Yes, the unglamorous part of the story that we call life. The mission is not to be happy all the time, and know it all and figure out how it all works.

True freedom comes in accepting that you will never know it all and there is a certain surrender and peace in that. In addition, that freedom comes in allowing yourself to postpone your death as Anais Nin says, “by living your life full out.” Freedom comes in by wildly listening to your internal guidance, to dancing to your own song and having faith that even when you feel sidetracked or alone, that too has a purpose. When you are ready and willing to see this, it can become your road to freedom.

If you stay stuck hoping that freedom comes from something outside of yourself, even if it is a positive thing, you will find yourself sorely disappointed. So go inward, and accept the truth of the life- the ups and the downs the happy and the sad the dark and the light. When it gets dark allow yourself to feel the dark, but, hold this deep faith that the dark brings forth the light. This is freedom.

How can we find our freedom by accepting life’s challenges just as much as life’s blessings? How can we begin to see the suffering as a blessing while still experiencing and not avoiding the sorrow that comes with the difficult times?

Remember- there is freedom in accepting the whole truth, the whole spectrum of emotions and the whole spectrum of colors. It makes life more fun, more honest and helps you feel truly free.

I would love if in the comments below you were able to share with others some of your dark moments and how they were actually a blessing in time, and how it provided a deeper sense of freedom for you.

Christine Gutierrez M.A., MHC psychotherapist, life coach, and writer. Christine brings an innovative and fresh approach to healing as a modern day psychotherapist with a soulful twist on celebrating the complexities of the human mind, the body’s wisdom, and the truths of our inner spirit. Christine is also the founder of the lifestyle brand Cosmic Life Inc. where she provides 1-1 coaching, group goddess gatherings, speaking engagements, workshops, and writing all geared towards healing the mind, body, and soul. To find out more check out www.cosmiclife.com and sign up for the free newsletter to receive updates, information+ inspiration. Find me on Twitter: @CosmicChristine

More From Christine Gutierrez view all

Learning Forgiveness and Placing Trust in Yourself Your Sexual Blueprint: Find Out How Your Past Has Shaped Your Present Therapy Is Cool: The Importance Of Breaking The Stigma

Comments

http://www.facebook.com/ashley.laforce Ashley LaForce

I’m loving your columns Christine. I came to this site, because I’ve been so inspired by many interviews on The Conversation, and wanted to read more. I’ve been a victim of sexual and verbal abuse throughout my childhood. I am now 26, and have started accepting the negative things that have happened to me in my life, and I am now studing psychology and hoping to use my experiences to reach out and help others. It is so hard to see the light, when you feel like your stuck in the tunnel, helpless. I am still struggling. I have recently discovered that I have a fairly severe case of scoliosis. In the last two weeks, I have been forced to give up my apartment, my dog (who was a best friend) and my finacial independence, and have moved back with my parents. I don’t have a close relationship with either of them. I was abused by my biological father when I was 9. My mother has been emotionally disconnected ever since and has not known how to comfort me, and instead avoids difficult conversations/situations. My step father is not a happy man, and we don’t see eye to eye on anything. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on the bigger picture, that I WILL get better and I WILL get back out on my own two feet. But as you said, you can’t ignore the pain. And in my case, this is physical and emotional pain at the same time. I’ve lived on my own, in the city since moving out when I was 18. I’m incredibly social and depend a lot on others, people, pets, to provide happiness, as well as working on myself internally. I am now in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service, and no friends close by, and no dog. I’m only allowed 10 minutes on the phone at a time, and I’m used to talking to my best friend, who currently lives two states away, for hours. I had a breakdown last night. I feel so lonely. I know out of this will come strength, but I’m needing some guidance on how to get through this,somewhat comfortably. I’ve seen many therapists over the years, and haven’t had pleasant experiences with any of them. If there’s any advice you may offer, please let me know. Your story is inspiring and I hope one day to inspire others in the same way.
Christine Gutierrez

keep rocking it mama. @facebook-1012666085:disqus